


A Cabin Built for Two

by Lemon (lemon_sprinkles)



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Bottom Kaidan, Earthborn (Mass Effect), Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Gay Sex, Gift Fic, Hand Jobs, M/M, PWP, Physical Disability, Post-War, Renegon (Mass Effect), Rimming, Vacation, mShenko
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-29
Updated: 2015-09-29
Packaged: 2018-04-23 22:00:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4893913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemon_sprinkles/pseuds/Lemon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shepard wants to show Kaidan just how much he appreciates his never ending love and support.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Cabin Built for Two

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Jocu19](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jocu19/gifts).



> Written for a friend after we both lamented the lack of rimming fic in fandom! The dog, Cosmo, is part of the universe I've created in my 'Soldier' Heart' fanfic. All y'all need to know is he's an all black doberman pinscher with floppy, adorable ears, and is as Shepard's therapy pup.

 Shepard knew he wasn’t the easiest guy to get along with.

 Even before the Alliance, the attack on the Citadel, the Reaper War, and his slow and steady descent into the belly of the mental illness beast, Shepard had been difficult. It wasn’t like he stood a chance, his beginnings in the world one of loss and self-preservation. Shepard learned the harsh realities of the world when he should have been learning how to colour within the lines and throw a basketball, his life on the street preparing him for truths and actualities rather than little while lies and fantasy.

 Shepard’s childhood had taught him to be quick and sneaky, to use everything he had to his advantage to stay afloat in a sea of serpents and sharks. It made him hard; it made him angry; it made him think that the world was only going to hurt him unless he did something to hurt it first.

 When he joined the Alliance that anger filtered into his training, his rage at the world and his sullen expression turning into a determination into making something better of himself; something more than the streets had told him he was ever capable of. But the awkwardness was still there; the aversion to bonding and making friends was still there; his ‘hit them first before they hit you’ mentality was still there.

 But then he met the crew of the Normandy.

 Shepard’s walls began to break down, everything he’d known about self-preservation having been. Now he had to work with people who, for reasons beyond him, liked him and wanted to get to know him. And, most importantly, he wanted to know them, too.

 It was awkward at first, and Shepard knew it was still awkward sometimes. Hugs with Liara were stiff at the beginning, and Shepard noticed he was tightening his shoulders whenever she embraced him. Tali was like a little sister, but while he tried to help her with her insecurities toward her relationship with her father, Shepard had nothing to compare it with. Garrus was easier but still hard to handle sometimes, his family bonds and his childhood foreign and strange for Shepard.

 And then there was Kaidan.

 With Kaidan, everything fell into place. The fumbling and bumping that Shepard experienced wasn’t there, the two of them slipping into each other’s orbits. They just knew each other—like old souls finding one another again in the darkness. Shepard felt at ease in Kaidan’s company. Hugging him, talking to him, making love to him—it all made  _sense_  to Shepard. It felt natural. His relationship with his other squad members took time to develop into anything, but with Kaidan it was all just  _there_. Shepard didn’t feel his usual awkward, bumbling self. He felt comfortable with Kaidan—comfortable in a way that he didn’t even feel with anybody else.

 They contrasted one another beautifully.

And he stuck by Shepard through everything—well, almost everything. No matter what he said, no matter how many times he tried to get himself killed doing reckless shit, no matter how many hospital visits and therapy sessions he underwent, Kaidan was always there. Every step of Shepard’s long, arduous recovery, Kaidan was with him, holding his hand and being so fucking patient.

 Shepard had no idea how he did it. He knew he was damaged goods; knew that the heroic image he presented to the outside world was furthest from reality. The months leading up to his breakdown at the bank had been tough for both of them, but mostly for Kaidan. He was there while Shepard drowned and, try as Kaidan might to pull him out, Shepard pushed him away and kept floundering; decided to risk drowning in order to save what little ego he had left.

 Kaidan didn’t threaten to leave, even when Shepard began to drift away from him. He didn’t bargain, didn’t berate, didn’t judge or coddle. He just stood there and opened his arms when Shepard needed to be held, kissed his temple when he needed to be touched, and let him go when he needed the space.

 But Shepard knew it wasn’t fair to Kaidan.

 And so he agreed to therapy. He went to every session, spoke to his therapist, and opened up in hopes that maybe one day he could give Kaidan everything they’d discussed lying in bed under the stars on the Normandy. Everything he knew Kaidan deserved. A year into his therapy and Shepard was beginning to show progress—real, solid, tangible progress. There were issues, and they both knew he’d never be ‘cured’, but things had become better.

 And Shepard wanted to do something for Kaidan to show his appreciation. He wanted to show Kaidan just how fucking in love he was with him; how his support and his steadiness kept Shepard on his path to better himself. He wanted to show Kaidan how loved and appreciated he was—how special he was.

 Because to Shepard, Kaidan was the most important, beautiful, amazing thing in the universe, and he deserved to know that.

 So he rented them a cabin built for two.

XX

 “A flight, a car rental, and a two hour long drive later, and you  _still_  won’t tell me where we’re going?”

 “You’ll find out soon enough,” Shepard chided, a small smile on his lips.

 Turning on to a dirt road, Shepard eased the vehicle up the incline, rows upon rows of pine trees lining the road on either side. Kaidan had rolled down the window so Cosmo could stick his head out, and the scent of fresh, mountain air drifted into the vehicle.

 “You’re not taking me up here to murder me, are you?” Kaidan asked, “Because if you were going to do that, I know a cove off the BC coast that would have been just as secluded and cost a fraction of the time.”

 Shepard laughed. “Trust me, K. We’re almost there.”

 Sighing, Kaidan looked out the window and shrunk down in his seat, legs spread casually. Stealing a few glances now and again, Shepard admired his profile and how he hadn’t stopped smiling since they drove into the Rocky Mountains.

 This was a good idea so far.

 “There is something so beautiful about the mountains,” Kaidan said after five minutes of quiet. “You know… there’s just something magical about the peace and quiet up here. You can be so far away from everyone, and yet feel so… connected.”

 “Yeah, I get that,” Shepard said. “Years of nothing but go go go kind of makes you appreciate the simple, quiet things in life.”

 “Yeah...”

 Turning up a smaller road, Shepard spotted a box with a lock on it, just like the instructions had told him. Parking, he made move to get out when Kaidan stopped him.

 “Hey—let me do it?”

 “You don’t even know what you’re doing,” Shepard said, still poised to leave.

 “Well if you told me what to do, I could do it,” Kaidan explained. His gaze flicked down to Shepard’s knee, worry evident in his gaze.

_Don’t worry this weekend—this is a worry free week, K._

 “I can get out of the car for a second—it won’t kill my knee.”

 Kaidan nodded and let go of his arm. No coddling, no argument, just let Shepard do what he needed to do.

 Getting out of the car, Shepard took the short walk over to the box as time to stretch out his knee, the muscles getting stiff from the long drive. Checking his email on his omnitool, he noted the password and entered it, pleased when the box opened.

 Pulling the door back, he saw three old fashioned keys, each with a last name dangling on a keychain. Plucking the one that said ‘Shepard’ out from the box, he closed it and made sure it was locked before returning to the car. Tossing the key to Kaidan, he sat back down and drove the short trip up to the cabin, ignoring Kaidan’s questioning stare as he fiddled with the key.

 Coming up to their cabin, Shepard was relieved to see it looked just like the photos on the extranet site. It wasn’t anything fancy--not like the high-rise luxury towers in Illium, or a hundreds of year’s old hotel in the heart of Paris. But then again, that had never been their style.

 The cabin was the perfect size for a couple (and their dog)—just a living room, kitchen, and one bed and bath. It had indoor heating, but the renter promised a traditional fireplace complete with chopped wood stored at the back under a lean-to. Food was provided and stocked in the fridge before their arrival, and Shepard had requested extra packets of bacon just for Kaidan. The wrap-around porch had an outdoor couch and Shepard immediately pictured he and Kaidan sitting on it as they soaked in the atmosphere.

 Hopefully this was what Kaidan wanted…

 Kaidan didn’t say anything as they approached, or when they got out. He just stared at the cabin, mouth slightly slack. Saddling up to him, Shepard stuffed his free hand in his pocket, the other gripping his cane as it fought for purchase in the gravel.

 Cosmo jumped out from the back of the car and inspected everything thoroughly, tail wagging.

_At least someone’s happy._

 “We’ve got the place for a week,” Shepard said, filling the silence as Kaidan continued to stare. His heart was beating rapidly from nerves. Kaidan usually wasn’t this closed off with his emotions. “There are a few other cabins up here that are rented, but for the most part we’re all alone. Except for the owner of the cabins who lives down the way and the park rangers, but…”

 “This is… I mean…” Kaidan turned to Shepard then, grinning brightly. Shepard’s heart didn’t stop beating rapidly, and instead it sped up, Kaidan’s smile enough to do that all on its own. “This is incredible, John. I didn’t… I’m just… wow. This is really great.”

 Shepard returned the grin and pulled Kaidan in using his belt loops. “It’ll just be you, me, and the dog for the entire week. We can go hiking or fishing, or just hang out here all week. Whatever you want to do.”

“Whatever I want to do?” Kaidan asked, hand resting overtop Shepard’s on the handle of his cane. “I thought this was  _our_  vacation.”

 “Yeah, but this is supposed to be a treat for you. Think of it as a thank you.”

 Kaidan quirked a brow. “For what?”

 “For putting up with me all these years,” Shepard replied. Leaning in he kissed Kaidan slowly, unable to hold back any longer. The months and months’ worth of planning, the secrecy, the second-guessing—all worth it to see Kaidan like this; happy and smiling, without a worry-line in sight.

 When they pulled apart Shepard bumped their foreheads together, hand grabbing Kaidan’s. The cane fell to the ground with a soft thud. “Let me pamper you this week?” Shepard continued. “This week is all about you—your every whim and desire is mine to fulfill.”

 Kaidan chuckled. “You don’t have to do this, John. I don’t need to be thanked for being your partner, you know.”

 “And you don’t have to be so fucking Canadian about it, but here we are,” he teased. Nipping Kaidan’s bottom lip, he was dragged into another kiss, this one heated, Kaidan tilting his head just so to bring Shepard in just right.

 “Wanna go inside?” Shepard asked when they pulled apart.

 Kaidan nodded. “Ready when you are.”

XX

 Shepard laid spread out in the bed, fluffy white pillows and soft flannel sheets cocooning him in warmth, a paper book in his grasp. A gift from Kausmi. The door to the bathroom was open, steam collecting on the windows nearest the room. They’d spent the day hiking, using the beginner’s trails to get a feel for how novice they actually were. It turned out to be very beginner, what with Shepard having no issue at all with his leg for the entirety of the trip.

 It had been a picture perfect day. It started with coffee and copious amounts of eggs and bacon, followed a hike in the wilderness with Kaidan teaching Shepard about the local topography of the Alberta Rockies. Shepard had grown up in the slums of some grimy, large city, and had only seen pictures of pine trees and chipmunks, the notion of bears more foreign to him than literal aliens. This made him more than willing to listen to what Kaidan had to say, but he spent most of his time paying attention to  _how_  he was saying it.

 He was alight with excitement the entire time, a huge grin on his lips and eyes bright. He pointed to different kinds of plants and told Shepard about them, followed by a deep discussion on how to survive a cougar attack, finishing with some history about Canada (such as how the first Prime Minister was a raging alcoholic).

 By the time they got home, Cosmo was completely exhausted and went straight to his doggy bed. Shepard didn’t blame him, feeling the weight of the day as well, but as soon as he took a long bath he found his second wind.

 The sound of the shower stopped. Looking over the edge of his book, Shepard observed Kaidan exit the bathroom, attention focusing on how Kaidan's muscles moved under his wet, glistening skin. Continuing to watch, Shepard quirked a brow as Kaidan turned around and bent over to dry his legs, acting almost as if he knew Shepard was leering.

 When he turned back around Shepard continued to stare, even when Kaidan made it obvious he knew he was looking by wiggling his hips. Laughing, Shepard put his book down and stretched out on the bed as Kaidan approached. He was still completely nude save for the towel he had tossed over his shoulder.

  Sitting down on the edge of the bed, Kaidan draped himself across Shepard’s waist, elbow holding him up while his free hand began to rub Shepard’s stomach idly through his cotton shirt.

 “What are you thinking about,” Kaidan asked.

“About who would win in a fight: a bear or a Krogan.”

 Kaidan snorted and rolled his eyes. “Are we talking a brown bear, black bear, or a grizzly?”

 “Does it matter?” Shepard asked, shivering slightly as Kaidan swirled his finger around his bellybutton. The action wasn’t erotic, nor did it hide any sexual intentions. It was a perfect example of the casual intimacy that Shepard never thought he’d crave until Kaidan appeared in his life.

 “Well yeah, of course it does,” Kaidan replied.

 “Fine. A black bear.”

 “Krogan,” Kaidan said with nod of his head.

 “That fast?” Shepard asked.

 Kaidan nodded again.

 “Okay, what if it was a grizzly?” Shepard continued.

 “Grizzly.”

 “What? Really? Against a Krogan?” Shepard asked, playing devil’s advocate.

 “Bears have teeth, and claws, and weigh close to like, a thousand pounds. Plus their fast—they can probably outrun your biotic charge,” Kaidan explained. 

 “But Krogans have guns,” Shepard said.

 “You didn’t say the Krogan had a gun!” Kaidan replied, laughing. “That’s cheating!”

 “I never said Krogans played fair, either.” Grinning, Shepard bent his knee and nudged Kaidan’s back with it, trying to get him to come up.

 Doing as indicated, Kaidan crawled on top of Shepard, hands resting comfortably on either side of Shepard’s head. Kaidan’s skin was still hot from the shower and Shepard ran his hands along his shoulders, feeling the smoothness mixed with the heat, a pleasant combination. His hair was wet and messy, curls that were usually tamed coming out as he hovered above. A drop of water hit Shepard on the cheekbone.

 “Sorry,” Kaidan said, and kissed the drop away.

 “Good day?” Shepard asked.

 Kaidan eased himself down so he was stomach to stomach with Shepard, and close enough to kiss. “Perfect day,” he said, and kissed Shepard slow and steady.

 Humming into the kiss, Shepard kept petting Kaidan’s back, fingertips dancing across each bump of his spine. This was definitely worth all the planning. Kaidan was more relaxed than Shepard had ever seen him, the worry line between his brows and the tension in the corner of his mouth all but gone.

 “How’s your knee?”

 And it was back.

 “It’s fine,” Shepard said, kissing Kaidan again. When they pulled apart, breathless and more than a little excited, he continued. “No asking me about my knee, okay?”

 “That an order?” Kaidan asked. Ducking his head down, he pressed a series of kisses along Shepard’s neck before sucking his earlobe between his teeth.

 Shepard grunted and titled his head to the side, giving Kaidan more room. “Can’t order you now that I’m a civilian,  _Major_.”

 “Does that mean I can order you to do something?” Kaidan mumbled against his neck, hot breath tickling his skin, goosebumps rising on his skin despite the heat above and around him.

 “Technically no, but I wouldn’t be opposed to hearing your idea…”

 Kaidan raised his head and looked down at Shepard, eyes dark with desire. Swallowing thickly, Shepard reached up and ran his thumb along the freckles atop his brow.

 “Strip for me?” he said.

 Shepard smirked. “I guess I could do that.”

 Bracing his hands on Kaidan’s shoulders, he gave him one last kiss before pushing him up and off, Kaidan landing beside him on the bed with an ’oomf’.

 Ignoring the perpetual ache in his knee, Shepard stood and turned around, watching Kaidan as he watched him, his body stretched out and nude. He looked irresistible in his disheveled state. Grabbing the hem of his shirt, Shepard pulled it up and off slowly, trying to take his time despite how awkward it felt.

 Shepard didn’t do sexy. At least, not on purpose. Acting sexy and drawing things out in the bedroom had all been new to him once he started dating Kaidan. Sex before Kaidan had been a means to an end—a way to scratch an itch. Get in, fuck hard and fast, and then pull up your pants while promising the guy you’d call, and move on with your life. But Kaidan liked to take it slow. Suddenly, Shepard was getting used to making love. Not fucking (although they did that, too), but taking their time enjoying each other. Kaidan was all about the sensuality of sex; the slow, easy passion two people could build up together. Shepard had to learn to slow down, and had become better over the months.

 Didn’t mean he knew how to do a strip tease, however.

 Taking off his shirt he tossed it off to the side, Kaidan’s eyes wandering down his stretched out torso as he did so. 

 Turning around, he hooked his thumbs under the waistband of his sweats. He pulled them down slowly until the back slipped off of the swell of his ass and caught under the place where thigh met buttocks.

 Shepard heard Kaidan shift then, and a soft hum of desire drifted through the room. Bending over, he pulled them down the rest of the way, taking his time so he was bent over entirely.

 Standing, he turned around and got back up on to the bed. Reversing their positions, Shepard clambered on top of Kaidan and grasped his hands, shoving them up and over his head in a forceful but gentle grip. Grinning, Shepard felt Kaidan wiggle his fingers, testing the strength of his ‘bonds’.

 “Any other orders?” Shepard asked, slowly grinding their hips together, soft dicks rubbing together in a motion that made both groan from satisfaction.

“Just one,” Kaidan said, voice low and deep, “Give this perfect day a perfect ending.”

 Shepard kissed Kaidan then, lips parting, his tongue delving into Kaidan’s mouth to rub the top. Kaidan tensed under his grip and a pleasant moan filled Shepard’s mouth as Kaidan arched up into his touch.

 The kiss lasted for what felt like hours, neither one wanting to give in. Kaidan tasted like mint toothpaste and mountain air, his tongue hot and his teeth biting. Tilting his head, Shepard deepened the kiss as Kaidan wrapped a leg around his waist, dragging him in closer and angling his hips. Pulling away, they were both left panting, matching smirks on their lips as Shepard let go of Kaidan’s wrists.

 Keeping his hands where Shepard left them, Kaidan wiggled in anticipation as Shepard kissed across his jaw and down his neck, the rub of stubble pleasant against his lips. Moving down, his fingertips tickled down Kaidan’s arms and his lips painted messy kisses between his pecks. Moving his hands further down, Shepard grasped the sides of Kaidan's torso, feeling the swell of each excited breath.

 Kissing his naval, Shepard looked up at Kaidan as Kaidan spread his legs, giving Shepard room to go where he pleased. He wanted to make Kaidan feel good—wanted to worship him in every sense of the word.

 He wanted Kaidan to just fucking relax.

 And Kaidan seemed to be doing a good job of that. Lying on the bed he looked down his body, full lips parted and cheeks flushed, messy hair even messier than before.  Hooking his arms under Kaidan’s thighs, Shepard once again ignored the protest of his knee, more concerned about the growing arousal between them. Kaidan was still only half-hard, but all it took were a few gentle kisses against the frenum to get it to twitch in his grasp. Locking eyes with Kaidan, Shepard took his cock in his mouth and began sucking, bobbing his head shallowly as he did so.

 He tasted of soap and his own musk. Groaning, Shepard cupped the shaft with his tongue. Kaidan rested the heel of his foot against Shepard’s back and pushed up with his hips, trying to get  _more_. This told him to go further. Moving faster, Shepard took more of him in with each swipe, spit and precum mixing. Shepard’s lips slid up and down, up and down, and up and down with ease. His own cock was getting harder the longer he sucked Kaidan off, and he slowly rocked his hips into the mattress, pressing his cock into the folds of the blanket below him. Lifting his head, he gripped Kaidan’s shaft and began stroking him as he caught his breath.

 “Feeling good?” he asked breathlessly.

 “Feeling good,” Kaidan repeated, just as breathless, a first to his lips as he bit down on his knuckles.

 Kissing the v shape down to his groin, Shepard moved to apply a few sticky kisses to his inner thighs, still stroking him as he did so.

 “You clean?”

 Kaidan grunted out a yes just as Shepard sucked one of his testicles into his mouth, laving it with attention. Giving the other one the same treatment, Shepard moved lower and shoved his head down below to suck and kiss his perinium. Kaidan's legs spread, giving Shepard all the access he wanted.

Shepard would never get over how fucking good it felt to know he was the one making Kaidan feel this way—that he was making those noises because of him.

 Sitting up after spending a decent amount of time teasing, Shepard stretched his knee out, completely breathless, his tongue tasting of nothing but Kaidan.

 “Get on to your stomach,” he said, tickling Kaidan’s ankle with his fingers.

 “Oh yeah?” Kaidan said, pointedly ignoring how Shepard was working the stiff muscles.

 Shepard nodded. “Oh yeah.”

 Grabbing one of the pillows, Shepard watched as Kaidan did as instructed. Lifting his hips, he made room for the pillow, and Shepard shoved it under him to give him support. Taking a moment, Shepard admired Kaidan’s ass—the perfect swell and slope of it, the baby smoothness of it that contrasted with the hair on his calves and thighs, and how firm and yet soft it was.

 Kaidan had the perfect ass. Shepard figured he could spend hours touching it. 

 Positioning himself behind, Shepard  gripped his cheeks, one in each hand, and gave it a firm squeeze. Kaidan pushed back into his touch, and Shepard noticed the smirk he shot him over his shoulder. If taking his time meant getting to see that smirk? Shepard would delay his gratification for as long as he needed to.

 This was Kaidan’s night—it was all about him and his pleasure.

 Working the muscles, Shepard spread his cheeks to expose his hole, the pink whorl clench and then relaxing in anticipation. Shepard bit one of Kaidan’s cheeks playfully, causing him to jerk slightly, a soft, husky laugh slipping past to run along Shepard’s spine and down to his groin. Kissing his perinium again, Shepard teased the skin. Sitting up further, he licked a long stripe from the base of his balls all the way up to his tailbone, slowing down briefly over his hole. He repeated the motion a few times before focusing on Kaidan’s entrance.

 Using the tip of his tongue, Shepard swirled it along the puckered hole, enjoying how Kaidan’s thighs quivered. Getting a better grip, Shepard spread his cheeks again and continued to gently run his tongue along the hole, flicking back and forth, causing Kaidan to moan.

 It got a good groan out of Shepard, too.

 Shepard sat up for a second and rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand, the other rubbing Kaidan's anus with his thumb, first gently and then a little harder. Kaidan rocked back into his touch, half of his face pressed into the pillows, cheeks flushed and lips parted, eyes closed in obvious ecstasy.

 Taking that as a good sign, and in no way done, Shepard moved back in with renewed intensity. Kissing his hole, he sucked slightly before pressing his tongue against the pink whorl, undulating his tongue back and forth. Kaidan panted out Shepard's name, each syllable sounding like liquid honey. Grabbing his hips, Shepard drew him up further, Kaidan’s back arching as he was eaten out.

 “Oh g-god. Oh my—!” Kaidan blabbered. Stopping with a chocked moan, he pushed back as Shepard wiggled the tip of his tongue just right.

 Shepard prepared Kaidan with his tongue for some time, Kaidan enjoying the act while Shepard enjoyed performing it. But eventually it became too much for both, and Shepard pulled away only to be dragged up to the head of the bed for a kiss.

 “Wait,” Shepard said, ducking away. Kaidan stopped, arms wrapped around his shoulders as they sat in the middle of the bed facing one another.

 “What?” he asked, breathless and oddly adorable as he stared at Shepard. “Is it your—”

 “No it’s not my knee,” Shepard said quickly. His knee did hurt, but asking about it would only remind him of that. “My mouth tastes like ass—literally. Are you sure—”

 It was Kaidan’s turn to shut him up. Surging forward he kissed Shepard hard, Shepard automatically wrapping his arms around his waist. Moaning into the embrace, Kaidan pushed Shepard back down on to the bed, not breaking away. Shifting, he positioned himself so he was running his ass against Shepard’s neglected cock.

 Cupping Kaidan’s face with his hands, Shepard bit his bottom lip and pulled, breathing erratic as he ground up best he could, burrowing his cock between Kaidan’s cheeks and finally getting that much needed friction. Opening his eyes, he looked up at Kaidan, hands still cupping his cheeks as they moved perfectly together.

 He wanted to tell him how much he loved him; wanted to find the right words to express everything he thought Kaidan ought to know—how he admired him, loved him, owed everything good in his life to him—but was unable to form the words. Instead, Kaidan surged forward and pressed his lips hard against his, their eyes closing as Kaidan took control.

 Breaking apart, Kaidan kept moving while Shepard retrieved the lube from the bedside table, the little bottle resting within easy access (it had been one of the first things Shepard had unpacked). Flicking the top open, he looked up at Kaidan as he hovered above, knees pressing into the mattress on either side of Shepard’s hips, legs spread to give him access to his entrance.

 Brushing messy bangs from his forehead, Kaidan grinned as Shepard poured a generous amount on his fingers. Rubbing them together to make sure they were evenly coated, he reached between Kaidan’s legs and found his hole again, still wet from his spit. Pressing his pointer in slowly, Shepard matched Kaidan’s grin as he worked it in, stretching the muscles before adding a second. Curling his fingers, he stretched them back and forth, fingering Kaidan as he stayed poised above, hands braced on his thighs. Looking down between his legs, Shepard watched as his fingers moved in faster and faster, wrist curled so he could angle it just right.

 “Okay, I’m good,” Kaidan panted, batting Shepard’s hand away. Using the remaining lube, Shepard hissed as the cold gel contrasted with the heat of his cock.

 Biting his bottom lip in concentration, Kaidan reached back and positioned the head of Shepard’s length against his entrance. Relaxing, he slowly sunk himself down, Shepard moaning softly as Kaidan sheathed his dick deep inside him. Sitting forward, Shepard moved his hips up and forward as Kaidan placed his hands on his chest, his strong, battle worn fingers digging into Shepard’s skin. Adjusting to his size, Kaidan took a few steadying breaths before he opened his eyes and locked them with Shepard’s. That was all they needed to know they were both ready, and Shepard started to rock up while Kaidan ground down.

 They set an easy, almost lazy pace at first, Shepard gripping Kaidan’s hips to guide him as he moved up and down. His cock was encased in tight heat, Kaidan squeezing and relaxing in the most incredible way. In response, Shepard circled his hips up and ground into Kaidan just the way he knew he liked it, burrowing deep inside him before pulling out almost all the way, Kaidan poised high above before slamming back down.

 He admired his view; from the way Kaidan’s strong, broad chest rose and fell with each laboured breath, to the stretch of the muscles in his neck and the flush of his cheeks. His lips were parted and head was lolled back, Adam’s apple bobbing as he pleasured himself on Shepard’s cock.

 Fuck, he was gorgeous.

 Grinding his hips forward, Shepard felt him tense and watched as Kaidan rubbed that spot deep inside him again and again using Shepards cockhead.

 Dropping his head forward, Kaidan looked down at Shepard, chocolate brown with sea blue. Shepard could get lost in those eyes for the rest of his life. Reaching up he cupped Kaidan’s cheek, heart skipping a beat as Kaidan nuzzled his hand and kissed the palm.

 It was funny; he was literally balls deep inside Kaidan, their bodies connected in every way, and yet the thing that made Shepard feel like the ground had given way was Kaidan kissing his hand and sending him a small, silly smile. It made him feel like he was eighteen again and experiencing that first rush of love; made him feel carefree; made him feel like John and not the fallen hero known to the world as Commander Shepard.

 It just made him feel  _good_.

 “How’s that perfect ending coming along?” Shepard asked as they both began to speed up.

 “G-good,” Kaidan replied. “You?”

 “Almost there,” he admitted.

 The extensive foreplay had gotten Shepard hot and bothered quickly, and the long, slow ride to get to this point whittled down whatever else he had left. Gripping Kaidan’s hips, he steadied him as he thrust up, the sound of flesh against flesh and heavy panting heard about the room. Not wanting to mess up his rhythm, Shepard let Kaidan finish himself off. Instead, he watched him as he fisted his cock, dark pink head exposed and then covered up by his hand.

 A few more swipes and Kaidan was done, jets of white cum spurting out to hit Shepard’s stomach and chest. He tightened around Shepard, almost to the point where it hurt, and ground his hips down, sheathing Shepard fully inside. That was all it took for Shepard to find he was tumbling down after Kaidan. 

 After the initial orgasm Shepard closed his eyes and rode out the afterglow, thumb slowly stroking Kaidan’s thigh as he remained sat on top of him. He felt Kaidan shift after a few minutes, and opened his eyes just as Kaidan flopped down on to the bed next to him.

 Rolling on to his side, Shepard pulled him in for a short, lazy kiss. Pressing his forehead against Kaidan’s temple, he reached up and played with his hair. Kaidan hummed, a low, happy noise that sunk into Shepard’s belly like a shot of whiskey on a cold night.

 They didn’t say anything for a while, and it wasn’t until Shepard was almost asleep Kaidan spoke.

 “How’s your knee.”

 Shepard tried to squash the flare of annoyance that flashed through his system, but he’d never been good at it. Propping himself up on his elbow, he looked down at Kaidan.

 “I thought I asked you not to talk about my knee, K.”

 “What’s with you not wanting me to ask about your knee? You’ve never had issue with it before?” Kaidan said, not sounding angry but generally confused.

 “Because…” Shepard sighed and looked away, suddenly feeling unsure. It was hard to talk about his feelings—even after spending a year at his psychiatrist’s doing nothing but talking about how he felt. It just wasn’t part of his nature. He bottled shit up and kept it tucked away so no one would know that he ever felt this way. Emotions were a weakness—a liability. People would exploit you if they knew how you really ticked.

 Sighing, he glanced back up at Kaidan. “I don’t want you to worry,” he began. “You just… you worry too much, K. About me. I know I’m not… fuck, I don’t know how to say this.”

 Flopping down on to the bed, he stared up at the ceiling, matching Kaidan’s pose from before. This time it was Kaidan’s turn to curl up against his side, nose nuzzling his jaw.

 “Hey… hey, John… tell me what’s up.”

 “I know I’m not easy to be around,” he continued. Staring at the ceiling helped—it was non-judgemental. Had no emotions. If he could pretend he was talking to the ceiling, it was easier. “I know I haven’t lived up to the expectations we had when we first started this relationship. We had all these plans for if we survived the Reaper War and… and they’ve not happened. I’m a fucking mess; I always have been. And you… god, K, you’re always there, looking out for me, watching my back, and worrying about me. And I don’t want you to worry because it’s… I dunno, it’s not fair or whatever. I just wanted you to have a week where you didn’t think about me and my issues. I want you to have one selfish, amazing, wonderful week where I'm not a mess. I just… I want you to have everything you deserve. Even if it’s just for a week.”

 There was silence, and Shepard continued to stare up at the ceiling, breath caught in his throat. Finally, Kaidan spoke.

 “I worry because I care, John. I can’t stop worrying unless I stop caring.” He moved then and appeared in front of Shepard, blocking off the ceiling, making it so Shepard couldn’t look away even if he wanted to. Reaching up, Kaidan traced his jaw with the tip of his finger. “We’re uh… we’re brother’s in arms, Shep. This is who we are. Through thick and thin, yeah? You’re the one for  _me_. You think you’re the only one with baggage? What about me and Brain Camp? Migraines? Almost dying at the hands of a robot? You knew about all my issues before we even kissed and yet you did nothing but support me. You’ve always supported me, John, because I know you don’t see me as a burden or someone you need to take a break from.”

 Shepard shook his head. “No, no I don’t.”

 “Yeah, exactly. So stop worrying about me worrying, alright?” Kaidan chuckled slightly. “Sounds weird when I say it like that.”

 It was true, though.

 “Yeah, you’re right,” Shepard said. The anxiety that had almost drowned him was abating with each steadying breath. “You’re definitely right. I just… I need to remember that more. This is a partnership and we’re in it together.”

 Kaidan nodded.

 “Still—this is your weekend,” Shepard continued, feeling ten times better now that they’d gotten that out of the way. “I wanted to pamper you, so let me treat your damn ass and stop complaining?”

 “I think you already treated my ‘damn ass’,” Kaidan joked. Leaning down, he Shepard quickly.

  Both recoiled slightly.

 Once the mood was over, suddenly ass breath became a lot less manageable. 

 “Maybe we should brush our teeth,” Kaidan said slowly.

 Shepard nodded. “Yeah, good idea.”

XX

 The rest of the week was spent as worry free, cougar attack free, and served as an important reminder to Shepard:

 Kaidan was going to worry regardless-- just never take his worries for granted.

 Sometimes, it was nice to have someone who looked out for you.


End file.
